I'm Not Easy To Replace lyrics

The stars are shrinking In places you used to love me loud I stopped asking you where you were 'Cause I already knew where I wasn't You used to text me home safe every single night Now it's 2 AM and my message still Says delivered twice I reread our old chats just to feel Something real Scrolling through a version of you That I still feel I remember cooking for you on a Random Tuesday You said you didn't have to But you still ate anyway I watched you like I wasn't even there And still asked if you needed more Like I wasn't disappearing right there I started apologizing for things I didn't do Like your silence was somehow Something I put you through I bent my voice just to keep you calm While you kept finding new ways to Do me wrong I kept telling myself he's just tired While my knees were quietly expiring and I I called it love to survive Even when I felt alone by your side But I'm not easy to replace Not the way I memorized every mood on your face Not the way I stayed when I was breaking every day You gon' feel me in the silence when I'm gone away I gave you pieces I can't get back Turned your bad memories into something I lacked And one day it's gonna hit you heavy, no escape That I'm not easy to replace I remember crying in your hoodie on the floor Trying not to make a sound so you wouldn't hear me anymore You were right there, but you felt miles away And I learned how to hurt in a quiet way I stopped telling people how you made me feel 'Cause I got tired of hearing this isn't real But it was real every time you chose not to stay Every time you looked at me then looked away I used to pray you loved me out loud Instead of loving me only when no one's around I was your secret piece, your hidden escape While I was out here drowning trying to keep you safe I kept choosing you over me Like losing myself meant loyalty And now I see what I became A woman begging just to be claimed! 'Cause I'm not easy to replace Not the way I held you through your worst mistakes Not the way I stayed when I was losing all my faith You gon' search for me in every woman that you chase I gave you love you didn't earn Watched you take it like it was mine to burn And one day it's gonna hit you—no, no escape That I'm not easy to replace You got so used to me waiting You forgot I had somewhere to go You got so used to me fixing You didn't notice I was breaking slow And now there's no one reading you like I did No one catching every little thing you hid You lost the woman who would've stayed through anything And I lost myself, loving you But I'm not easy to replace Not the way I loved you even when it wasn't safe Not the way I carried all your weight While you couldn't even hold my pain You gon' miss the way I used to care The way I stayed, the way I was there And when it finally hits you, too late to change your reality I was never easy to replace I don't even hate you I just hate how long I stayed Begging you to love me In ways I already deserved