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There are pills that make you happy. There are pills that make you blue. There are pills to kill your streptococci. There are pills to cure your cockeye too. There are folks whose pills have made them healthy. There are folks whose pills have cured their chills. But the folks whose pills have made them wealthy Are the folks who make all those pills. (There are) Dexedrine and Miltown, to pick you up and let you down. (happy) Or if you're sufferin', swallow a Bufferin. (pills) Vitamin C's a pill for folks who shiver. (sad) And there's a pill for Carter's little liver. (pills) And if you're sleeping in the hospital, because you're ill, (pills) Betcha the nurse will wake you up to take a sleeping pill. There are pills for young folks and for old folks, Each disease has got its remedy. But no pill can cure the common cold, folks, So if you sneeze, please don't sneeze on me. Achoo! Gesundheit.