The Penis Song lyrics

(Spoken): Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? It's swell to have a stiffy It's divine to own a dick From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest prick So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake Your piece of pork Your wife's best friend Your Percy or your cock You can wrap it up in ribbons You can slip it in your sock But don't take it out in public Or they will stick you in the dock And you won't a-come a-back (Spoken): Oh, thank you very much