Bayswater Aint A Bad Place To Be lyrics

Are we off? Yeah! Two-one, two-two, th— Er, three Bruce (putting on rod smallwood's yorkshire accent) I don't know what's this bloody track's doing there What's this bloody track? What are these bloody knobs? What is? What are you doing here? What about doing all this bloody music? Stop that! Stop that (Nicko)! Bloody hell! I've had this! What about the bloody (deadline) a— Pissing about in the bloody studio all the time! I mean, I'm bloody sat here working my fingers to the bone Trying to get this bloody album out at the top of the bloody artwork And steve wants some bloody blobby tattoo On his bloody willie to draw the bloody head in What the bloody hell do they think I am? I've bloody got to walk into the bloody Emi, capitol And the biggest bloody record companies In the bloody world and say Look here's a bloody picture of a bloody Eddie With a bloke and his fucking dick! What the bloody hell do you all think they're gonna make of that? Why can't they write songs about proper things like cricket? Aaargh, God! Boycott! There was a man! There was a man! They're writing bloody stupid songs these day You know what I mean? Gremlins 2: The Ghoulies, the bloody great film, you know If I'd wanted, I'd wanted the band to be bloody in it Well, they'd be bloody in it and all this, you know, bloody stupid Bloody blood everywhere, it's brilliant! Bloody hell, where's the bloody cricket? I know it's Christmas! It shouldn't make any fucking difference, should it They should be putting cricket on Speaking of Christmas, I invited some bastard round at Christmas He ain't paid me for bloody turkey yet What did he have? Two-thirds of a breast and half a thigh That'll be five pounds sixty-three pence What a cunt, there's some bloody arseholes around these days You never know they stab you in the back as soon as look at you Nicko! Nicko! Nicko, stop wearing that bloody jacket and those [?] You look bloody pregnant, lad Ooh, no, don't give me that stupid look How many bloody change have you got? Never mind how many change I've got How many bloody change have you got? Ooh, couldn't you dress appropriately on a golf course, Nicko Noo! You don't wear You wouldn't come onto a bloody golf course Or a bloody drumkit wearing a bloody A bloody silk bloody satin bloody whatever the bloody hell it is Would you? Well, I don't care if you're a pop star You're booga-bloody-bug? Bloody golf course now You're bleeding embarrassing me You're embarrassing me You come with a bloody jacket and tie next time, I tell you Now, shut up 'cause I'm going to adjust No, I'm not gonna bloody adjust you anymore I'm gonna adjust the ball Right, I'm adjusting the ball I'm standing here right now, ok (Mumbles something unintelligible) Where's the bloody ball? Alright, letcha move that here, wait, right See it now, I'll pick up the driver Fault! Fault! Get out of the bloody way, you stupid! Get out of the way, you stupid arseholes! Get out! I'm bloody going to play the— I'm bloody going to play the ball! Fucking f I'll hit them on the bloody head never mind Right, here we go, right Whoo, bastard! Bollocks off! Fucking hell! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! It's all your bloody fault It's all your bloody fault It's all, I can pick it up, can't I? Why not? What is it? What? What's up with the fucking rules? What bloody rules? These stupid bloody rules Well how should I, where is it? In the water? What am I suppo—, look! Well you'll have to get it It's your bloody fault You bloody get it! Yes, now! I'm not, I don't care if it's not part of your job description Record producer? Wha You'll never bloody work again Get in that bloody water now Or you will never bloody work again Bloody nerve! Record producer! You know who I am? What do you mean you've never heard of me? You must have seen me number plate, it's on me range rover Where do I live? Well how should I know if there's any mountains in bayswater? I only go out there to get the bloody Sunday papers? Anyway That fucking band up? Bloody legs, are they? You know, I mean I mean what good is the bloody music without the See, what good is the bloody music without the sleeve I ask him No! No! No! Nobody's bothered about the music steve Only you and the fans I mean, I mean if it wasn't for the bloody fans I wouldn't be 'ere! You understand? You know, I mean, I'm only bloody I'm not doing this for fun! I mean, you kno-, steve No, no, no, steve, t— No, no, no, no—, no need to talk to me like that steve, no— Now look, look, I'm only arguing with you for fun, Steve No, o' course I don't mean it I just want to give [your since a?] driving to an early grave You know, but, er, nick, oh, oh Nicko! Nicko! Nicko, not behind that bush Noo! It's win, it's windsor bloody golf course The bloody queen plays here If she fucking played golf she'd play here! Oh for Christ's, what if bloody Lord What's-His-Name walked here Ooh, you what? Fear of the dark? You want to call it Fear of the dark? (Sighs) Hold on, I'll see what the bloke at the bloody off-license thinks about it Like, listen I've spoken to the bloke at the bloody off-license And I've spoken to the minicab driver And he thinks it should be called blood-sweating beer Nothing like a bloody good yorkshire title, like ye- Look, you get on with the bloody music And leave the important stuff like, ehh, you know The marketing and the design and the sleeve and the photograph [?] goes to me I've got a lot better title What about, eh L-a's from here to eternity or Bayswater ain't a bad place to be Well, I know bayswater isn't rock 'n' roll, Steve But neither was monterey until bloody hendrix went there The isle of wight was never bloody rock 'n' roll Until the bloody beatles went there Oh, I know the beatles never went there But it's only a bloody detail Don't be so fucking pedantic Oh, bloody hell! What? This bloody song? This bloody song What about calling it What about calling it fear of the golf? Fear of the golf no, not the gulf! You don't want to depress everybody What's that got to do with You've already got a song about the Gulf War Afraid to shoot strangers, this is about the Gulf War Well, the Gulf War's over, steve! It's already happened and it's not news anymore Couldn't you change it, one letter And make it, make it about golf Golf's happening all the time! It happens every bloody year The Gulf War never happens every bloody year, does it? I mean, they'll have forgotten about it in five years' time You're not singing about the bloody second world war now But nobody's singing songs about golf You'll go to the bloody market, I'm telling you! You will! You will! What's this bloody bit of graffiti on the bog wall? I'm not afraid to shoot managers! Who put it there? Who put it there, hands up! Who put it there? Who did? Mark? Mark put it there? He bloody works for me 'E never told me he could read or write! Have to bloody watch my back now There's a bloody conspiracy theory going on Bloody hell! Who wants to talk to me? Who? Who 'dis? Who's on the phone? An artist? Bloody numby pumpy nod, just tell him to fuck off I'm watching the bloody golf Oh, and somebody still owes me For half the cost of that bloody turkey When he came 'round for Christmas dinner Bloody nerve! Mind you! Mind you, heh, you do have to look up You know, I mean the lads, I mean, they not so bad And I kno—, I know they don't mean everything they say because Y'know, because ultimately I'm always right Because the end, I mean, it's always my ideas that do get chosen Even though I didn't think of them Well, not quite I mean I like to think of meself as being a A creative geoffrey boycott You know, the- like the bloke who stood there for hours and hours Until the crowd went, still And then he was still shown on the telly after they were all dead Oh, yes! The legend will live on! And they bloody know me down the indian, you know I'm a bloody superhuman cricket man Boycotting existential golfing machine! I can't dig the blues, but I can dig a bloody divatark I'm bloody tell you! I'm a matchless millionaire, a bloody volcanised vehking I'm midfist roderick smallwood, with my own bloody number plate I'll bloody tell them I tell you I'm bloody glad I came back here from la England bloody needs me