Crash First (feat. mgk) lyrics

I fill my lungs with half my worth And try to go numb so that I can't hurt 'Cause at my highest, I'm at my worst And I can't fly until I crash first Everyone seein' me screamin', been that since birth Everyone seein' this money I'm blowin', but nobody seein' the work Look, dad, I'm high like you, for me, the pills don't work I like diggin' in a bag, I like smokin' till it hurt And if my eyes roll back, then let the tears come first Been holdin' those in too long, fakin' it like I'm too strong And when my eyes roll back, throw my body in the dam And them things in my pocket, will you hide 'em from my fam? Will you tell the world I loved hard? Can you make 'em understand That all of the things I was strugglin' with, they ain't make me less a man? And all of the trauma I'm tryin' to bury probably made me who I am Think growin' up broken was necessary, so I could fix my fam And part of me died on this deathbed, holdin' my daddy's hand Just tell my daughters their father will drown if that means they can swim I fill my lungs with half my worth And try to go numb, so that I can't hurt 'Cause at my highest, I'm at my worst And I can't fly until I crash first I know that it takes time, I'm comin' to get you Walkin' a straight line, I need me a breakthrough I'm smokin' a grapevine, sippin' the grape juice Choppin' a white line It's gettin' harder to face you Oh God Yo, we 'bout to– ayy, look Yo, we 'bout to fuck it up Ayy, Kells, tell the people, man Ayy, bro, ayy, Kells, they act like we don't do this, man, what? Come on Yeah, take my hands off the wheel, I'm speedin' I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it Open wounds from my nose, still bleedin' Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiendin' Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it No sleep, I'ma party through the weekend Kerosene, black smoke, I'm breathin' Somebody, save me, I've been fallin' off the deep end, uh All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't) All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't) I couldn't give a fuck (no) I never gave a fuck (no) All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck Under pressure, I don't got control of my aggression Under the influence, I'm 'bout to make a bad impression On the dresser, it's some ammunition and a weapon And I've been smokin' on this shit since I was adolescent Thirty sixes, I'm tryna get lucky, number seven I wonder if they got a spot for junkies up in Heaven Leave a message, they gon' find my body in the bedroom And they can listen to this song if they want my confession (yeah) Take my hands off the wheel, I'm speedin' I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it Open wounds from my nose, still bleedin' Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiendin' Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it No sleep, I'ma party through the weekend Kerosene, black smoke, I'm breathin' Somebody, save me, I've been fallin' off the deep end (no) All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't) All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't) I couldn't give a fuck (no) I never gave a fuck (no) All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck Go, go, go, go I'm gettin' closer to death Go, go, go, go I'm gettin' closer Go, go, go, go I'm gettin' closer to death Go, go, go, go I'm gettin' closer