WHO AM I? lyrics

I've tried to be an optimist all of my life Turns out I'm still the opposite, and I don't know why I learned how to think the worst before I learned to ride a bike It's hard to reverse something so hardwired And I hate to admit that I pick my appearance apart when I look in the mirror And I'd rather be sick on the inside if that made the outside easier to bear 'Cause I've never been home in my body Even my own mind tells me to disappear And I'd run away from my own shadow if I could, God knows I've been trying for years Who am I, who am I? Who am I, who am I? I lost my religion when I lost my faith Not just faith in God, but in anything I kept demanding answers but they never came I couldn't cure the cancer even if I prayed And I hate my depression, she's got a tight grip holding me in the palm of her hand She tosses the question around in my head: Will I ever be happy again 'Cause I can't even think of a memory when she wasn't waiting in the wings She's turned me into my worst enemy and now all I hear is what she thinks Who am I, who am I? Who am I, who am I? Who am I, who am I? Who am I, who am I?