Who was up front? lyrics

Who was up front? How many years has my heart Been running lost, with no direction, no joy, no spark How long have I been frozen in the dark Always reminding myself: Looking at the world, it's all an illusion's mark I remember when I was a kid, the same heavy feeling Lost, far from my parents, always head-against-the-ceiling It wasn't a pretty story, no fun to be found Looking through dictionaries for a word to turn this chorus around Who walked with me? Who lagged behind? Who was up front? Who faked a shelter? Who lent a hand? Who beat me down? Who gave me a chance? It makes no sense anymore, these shallow replies When I'm already at the rock bottom, blinding my eyes I just wanna breathe, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah This filthy air that tries to take me over, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah If I am safe, there's nothing to fear No loss, no pain, no dread of death coming near, oh-eh-eh Who walked with me? Who lagged behind? Who was up front? Who faked a shelter? Who lent a hand? Who beat me down? Who gave me a chance? In the pitch-black night, I just wanna hide Just to feel the cold, to learn inside That everywhere you look, there's a reason to be If it's not for success, it's a lesson for me Excuse me, please, just leave it as it stands Everything is ready, slipping through the hands While they're all glued, staring at the TV screen Fighting over two sides of the same losing game machine Thank you so much, I only have to praise Nothing is pretty, but it's just the end of days Without the makeup on, you can see the real gaze How many years has my heart Been running lost, with no direction, no joy, no spark How long have I been frozen in the dark Always reminding myself: Looking at the world, it's all an illusion's mark So much dirty laundry, now I see it clear Better to face the truth than to live in a lie out of fear I prefer this scene without the special effects crew No stunt double needed, just the real world coming through It makes no sense anymore, these shallow replies When I'm already at the rock bottom, blinding my eyes I just wanna breathe, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah This filthy air that tries to take me over, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah If I am safe, there's nothing to fear No loss, no pain, no dread of death coming near, oh-eh-eh Who walked with me? Who lagged behind? Who was up front?